Snoop Dogg IZ Sensual Seduction...

This is the reason for so many things...Happy Sweet Black Baby Jesus Day!

Britney's Sis is a Hot Mess...

Are we surprised? Honestly, I will not elaborate long on such as trashy tizzy. But in brief, this family is a look into the inner workings of white trash. You can give em money, but they still bamma...Of course some ask "Should she be canned from her gig as a young starlet?" Yes. Who wants their wee wonder wanting to be like she who is not smart enough to cap that? and lastly, if this was, say, Raven Simone (who still pretends to be a teenager though she is about to get AARP membership and should be in a show called "Cougar Brawds" not "Cheetah Girls") - the phrases "Baby Daddy" and "knocked up"would be be front and center. Bamma...

Santa Claus Is A Black Man

Ok - why do I love this song? Why is Wendy Williams running it like Mike Vick ran them dogs? It is obvious. And by doing what I do and being who I be- I actually know the wee girl, Akim and have met the one and only Black Santa, the splendid Mister Teddy Vann. I can't write this stuff - but I do! Play this song = Santa Claus is a Black Man from the Teddy Vann Production Company - YEARLY!!!!!! Troll the web. You too can join the ranks of the elusively perverse John Waters who has realized its hotness and put it on his "A John Waters Christmas" album. Talk about pop-culture status. The world is tiny - and yes, Santa Claus IS a Black man. Can you dig it? >

Buckwheat Goes French...Mon Dieu!!

Comme j'adore c'est mec la! I am impressed by soooo many things chez Kamini. He has courage, drive, determination and obviously, a healthy sense of humor. Hell, with that attitude, Super Sarko better watch out. Kamini could easily take over the country and sell Soft Sheen to the masses of African immigrants who lack a good soul glo. And weave for that matter, but what can you expect from a country that eats hamburgers with a fork? Kamini, kick it like the bonne homme you iz.

An Angry Remix on a Horrible Situation...

Firstly, my heart goes out to the West family. As a mother contemplating - hell - a SLEW of surgeries in the next five years, I can NOT imagine the horrible shock the West clan is going through. Doctor Donda West, rest in peace. This remix is by what I can only imagine is a LIVID fan of the West family and/or a MAJOR enemy of Dr? Jan Adams. The re-mix master's voice is other-wordly and carries a certain vibrant, je ne sais quoi with it. "You know what you did..."

Delhi battles monkey menace...

"The monkey menace is at its worst..." This is a quote, people. Honestly, this monkey bidness is out of control. It has to stop. And that snicker you are holding in - just not well. Give me a banana, now.

I AIN'T THE NANNY

So...what can I say besides the fact that my wee one is a bit more "au lait" than "cafe." This leads me into and out of all sorts of funny, sad, trying and downright BANANAS situations.

Case in point - en route to the gym last week, I crossed a street. Passing in front of a white van driven by a salt and pepper haired white man of say, 50 years of age who was accompanied by a black man of say 35 years of age, a scenario commenced.

I was ogled from head to toe - like I was a steak and they were the last carnivores. Fine - I mean I am used to such elementary forms of appreciation by the male population, being bodascious as I am.

White man sticks his head out of the window. He smiles and says with his face aglow like a pumpkin on Halloween: "I want a baby sitter like you!" Black man smiles and nods - grinning like the cat who ate the proverbial canary.

Me - I winked. Cause, they meant no harm. How were they to know that lil' au lait was my son, not my charge?

Oh...mama ain't never said there'd be days like this!

Smell Yo Dick

Now, what we are really seeing is somthing that is PHENOMENAL!Riskay is SPEAKING to a MASSIVE...an I MEAN that. Sure, you may not need Riskay at your art opening - but for a Cosmo on a Saturday night at the skate rink, she's a ride or die pal...probably die, but hey.

CRANK DAT SOULJA BOY - AFRICAN REMIX!!!

You ain't seen NUTIN till you seen Nigerian Crank!

Tu veux ou tu veux pas - with subtitles

Do You Want it Or Not?

Bobby's Perogative - Say NAY to YAY(o)...

I really have to just point out that Bobby Brown is a HELLuva man. Hell, he survived 5 kids (wait, newsbreak just came across my desk)... Apologies - at LEAST 5 kids. And Whitney. And all that exploratory exam bizness with the fingers as forceps on air. National. Don't tell me you forgot the removal of feces function he committed to memory 2 years ago when his beloved Whiney was constipated and thus known as, well, Shitney. At least to many that I encountered. Now, he is surviving heart attacks. Listen, Bobby. Stop with the Yay. It ain't good for what ails ya. Go check out the Black Israelites in the desert of Demona and holla at a playa, aiiight?

Say It Aint So...Wayne Newton is a Woman...

This is why plasic surgeery can be a bad thang...

Everything You Own in a Box to the Left...

Imus. Sharpton. Naps. Rumble!!


Okay - a question to ask: what made the comment offensive? Was it the reference to “nappy head?” With so many celebs these days, from Beyonce to Oprah eschewing naps in favor of a Korean kinky or wavy in auburn, naps are obviously taboo. I mean, a full on nappy head has not been seen on TV or in the field of entertainment since.... help me here.

Naps are bad, right? Bama, backwards, regressive, reminiscent of a lack of “refinement” - ipso facto - tooooooo Black. And that, to hell with the Black Power movement or Obama running for Prez, too black is too bad. Ask a celeb to show up with a kinky headed arm candy. See where it pigeon-holed India Aarie?Even Macy Gray got a perm for her new album. Pleassssse people. As long as naps are taboo, then whoops there it is.

Or was it “hos?” That staple of hip-hop vocab? Hip-hop the international, trendsetting, culture creating, money making, keep-it-in the closet genre of today. Not the beat breaking, head spinning, my Addidas sporting rhyming of yore. Not Cool - Herc. I’m Young Buck. Tony – beat a teen - Yayo. Half a dollar - oops, 50 Cent. As long as they make it cool - it will be. No slightly texturized, or in the case of Sharpton, fully de-naped, brown political pundit can change that.

So, was Imus's comment offensive because “folks” don't like their hair and can't stand their own women? Would there be uproar if a brown shock-jock said - well "silken haired sluts?" Isn’t that what Paris, or Lindsey or Tara are called daily?

Sure, Imus is a crazy, cranky cracka. Is 50 Pence gonna call a summit with Baby, Master P, False Idol – sorry- Jay-Z - and say sumpin? My bet is no - as long as there is an Escalade in the drive way and a rock on the neck, it is what is is. And don't tell me that you don't know what I'm talkin' out, Willis.

I gotta get my hair laid – the kitchen is getting thick.

Martini Moments (and hot combs) to All,

Dame Betty

Freaky Friday...Mandingo Parties

Okay - welcome to Mandingo land...where cocks are over 8 inches and willing white ladies are over 150 lbs. Details magazine - the one with "Sexy Back" lothario Timberlake on the cover, had a hot article on what many are surprised to see is the alleged advent of "Mandigo Parties." Alleged advent -cause this has been going on since the whip was cracked in the good ole south at dawn over cotton bolls...Please!

The article explores a fete o' freaks at a suburban household in Florida. Staunch Republican Jeff lets his wife Amber gets ploughed till her crop comes up. Other couples mill about. This is not about homies hanging out, it's a bout pay for play. In reality, if a shark attack on a whale is what these bruthas do for money in the weekends - hey had BETTER NOT come home complaining that their own girls are overweight.

One Cock Coon claims that the experience is liberating and exciting. I would summarily take him back in time and ask him if he thought so after getting branded and tea bagged by a Southern gentleman while his Georgia Peach wife plops up and down on his Cock Coon of a chocolate magic stick. Pro'aly not.

Take a gander...and have a festive fruitful weekend!

Martini Moments to All,
Dame Betty

A Bad Day For Chocolate Face...

Okay- so much gossip and so little time.

Let's start with the marvelous world of baby daddy's:

1. Jay Z and Shennelle Scott, a SMOKIN' ass Trini of video shake-a-booty fame ALLEGEDLY have a baby boy. Peeps say that he paid her to keep his name off of the birth certificate. You look at him and you tell me:http://www.power1051fm.com/pages/morningshow.html.

2. Eddie Murphy - baby daddy? Melanie Brown, formerly Scary Spice of the Spice Girls, sure said so. And gave birth on Mista Murphy's bday - yesterday. DNA will tell, children, DNA will tell:http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_5584688?nclick_check=1.

And is it over for Kim and Diddy - me no think so.

On the please put away the bottle and hire a chauffeur front, why was Vivica A. Fox arrested for a DUI?http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17765518/.Can we say Vivica A. Drunk?

And on the presidential front, Obama's high school home boy, Mr. Keith Kakugawa from back in the coked up and crazy days has come forward and tried to pull a "brutha man" on the presidential hopeful. Kakugawa claims that Obama got too new on him. According to the Wall Street Journal, "Tensions rose when Mr. Kakugawa asked for some money to be wired to him via Western Union, according to both him and Ms. Adler. Ms. Adler brought in senior adviser Robert Gibbs, and together they phoned Mr. Kakugawa last Saturday.http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB117461620851146360-oaQpgJQXqks0usbmVr_JaYNRJCg_20070330.html?mod=blogs.

Damn brutha, damn.

Tomorrow – mandigo parties. http://bossip.com/2007/03/mandigo-parties-becoming-popular.html

This is not a good week for chocolate face...

Martini Moments,
Dame Betty